You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize