i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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