Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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