i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
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I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
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I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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