Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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