so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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