Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize