I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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