I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize