Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize