And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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