Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We were destined to go to rehab together
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My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I think I just sharted jello shots
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