i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize