i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
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