Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize