YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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