Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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