I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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