Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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