Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize