yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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