i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
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Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
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What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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