some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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