I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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