She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize