Kiss
Puke
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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