i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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