Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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