I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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