Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize