yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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