hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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