Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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