you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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