I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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