HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize