i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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