I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
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Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
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Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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