i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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