I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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