Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
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something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
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I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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