at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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