i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize