my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize