OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
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we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
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He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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