why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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