Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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