Tell her she can't have a vagina
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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