Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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