I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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